


Earn Me

by VerityGrahams



Series: The Grudge Series [2]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Apologises, BAMF Severus Snape, Bigotry & Prejudice, Bromance, Bullying, F/M, Gen, I Will Go Down With This Ship, Remus Lupin & Lily Evans Potter Friendship, Snape makes things right with Lily, Snily, Young Lily Evans - Freeform, Young Remus Lupin, Young Severus Snape
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-07
Updated: 2019-11-07
Packaged: 2021-01-25 00:57:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,989
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21347665
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VerityGrahams/pseuds/VerityGrahams
Summary: 'Lily, no!' he pleaded. 'I—I'm in love with you.'Suddenly, she turned back to face him, and Severus felt completely humiliated, vulnerable and helpless as everything fell apart around him.'What do you think this is, a movie? I'm not a toy that you can play with when you're bored or lonely! I'm not the girl the guy gets at the end of the movie. I'm not a fantasy. If you want me, earn me!'Then she stormed into the common room, and Severus was left outside, alone.
Relationships: Lily Evans Potter & Severus Snape, Lily Evans Potter/Severus Snape, Mary Macdonald & Lily Evans Potter, Remus Lupin & Lily Evans Potter, Remus Lupin & Severus Snape, Severus Snape & Avery Jr, Severus Snape & Walden Macnair
Series: The Grudge Series [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1538068
Kudos: 51





	Earn Me

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: I do not own Harry Potter
> 
> Written for The Houses Competition
> 
> Team: Lions
> 
> Class: Potions
> 
> Category: Drabble
> 
> Prompt: [Song Prompt] Never Enough from The Greatest Showman
> 
> Wordcount: 1998
> 
> Note: This is a canon divergence. What if Severus had tried to show Lily he was different.  
Note: This story is also part of The Grudge universe. It's a more indepth look at how Severus earned Lily's forgiveness. Also makes Mary's difficulty trusting Snape seriously suspect!

Earn Me

'_I don't need help from a filthy Mudblood like her!'_

He knew why he'd said it, why it'd slipped out so easily. He'd been drawn to what Avery and Mucliber had to offer for some time. They were against the persecution of wizards, and Severus had been persecuted all of his life. He felt a deep unease about their views on Muggleborns; it was a fight constantly warring inside him. How could he possibly hate them — _she_ was one of them. He couldn't resolve the conflict within himself and was consequently being torn in two.

A few weeks ago, another Muggleborn and a friend of Lily's had been called a Mudblood and cursed by his friends. He'd done nothing. He didn't insult or curse her, but he also didn't stand up for her. He knew he was responsible too, and he'd been sure that Lily would cut him off. She hadn't. She'd chastised him for his choice of friends. He knew that it wouldn't be the same now; there was no coming back from this.

He'd practically sprinted to Gryffindor Tower, only to be greeted by Mary and not Lily.

'Snape,' she said. 'She isn't going to come out. She won't speak to you, and I don't blame her!'

'Please, Mary, I'm so sorry!' he replied. 'I just need her to know how sorry I am! She's my best friend.'

'Really? Then why did you call her that?'

'It just slipped out,' he mumbled. 'I'll stay out here all night if I have to. I need to speak to her! I need to let her know, even if she won't forgive me.'

'She shouldn't forgive you.'

The portrait hole closed and Mary disappeared. The faint worry that she wouldn't bother telling Lily was suffocating.

Finally, the portrait hole opened. 'I only came because Mary said that you threatened to stay out here all night.' Lily's arms were folded and the whites of her eyes were noticeably red.

'I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said it. I was just—' he paused.

'Really? You say it to everyone else with Muggle parents!' she quipped.

'I have a Muggle parent.'

'But your mother being a witch makes you so much better than us filthy _Mudbloods_!'

'Don't say that! It's not true. You know that's not what I think.' Severus looked up at her, but she refused to meet his eyes. 'Remember when I first told you about Hogwarts? You asked me if it made a difference. I told you that it makes no difference. I meant it then, and I mean it now.'

'So why say it?'

'I knew it would make you leave,' he confessed.

'Why do you say it to everyone else? Why do stand by and watch your friends curse people for being Muggleborns? Why do you want to join _him_?'

Lily finally looked at him, and a solitary tear rolled down her cheek. Her face wasn't torn in anguish; it was filled with fury and it was all aimed at Severus.

'I—' he began, unable to form an answer.

'You can't even deny it,' she whispered and turned around.

'Lily, no!' he pleaded. 'I—I'm in love with you.'

Suddenly, she turned back to face him, and Severus felt completely humiliated, vulnerable and helpless as everything fell apart around him.

'What do you think this is, a movie? I'm not a toy that you can play with when you're bored or lonely! I'm not the girl the guy gets at the end of the movie. I'm not a fantasy. If you want me, _earn me!_'

Then she stormed into the common room, and Severus was left outside, alone.

* * *

Her words swam in his head for days. '_Earn Me.'_ It would never be enough. All the gold in the Malfoys' Gringotts vault would never be enough, every single star in the sky was inconsequential, insignificant, when it was compared to her. He felt hopeless.

Earning Lily Evans was an impossible task. He thought about the kind of man that Lily would want, someone who could capture her attention. Potter came to mind — the idea revolted him.

Severus decided he had to put the new plan into action.

The new and _improved_ Severus showed up in their next Potions lesson. He'd washed his hair, and he'd even used hair products. His usually limp, greasy hair was now light, full of bounce, and had a sleek shine. He had bathed in what he deemed to be the most fragrant body lotions and sprays known to wizardkind. To finish it all off, he smiled with newly straightened teeth — magically achieved, of course.

'Hi, Lil.' Severus sat down next to his usual Potions partner.

She glanced at him, a quizzical look on her face. 'What did you do?'

'Oh, I'm trying to be good enough… you know, as you said,' he said, his cheeks pink with embarrassment.

'If I wanted a pampered prince, I'd date Potter.' Lily stood up. 'You smell like a Russian bathhouse by the way.'

Severus was more confused than ever. It would never be enough.

Remus slipped into the seat beside him. 'Hi.'

'Why are you sitting here?'

'Look, I told you I was sorry. Not just for the Whomping Willow thing but, you know, the last five years. I meant it, Severus. I'm sorry.'

'I told you to go to Hell; I meant that!' he replied.

Severus turned his attention to his textbook.

'So, this is your effort to earn Lily?' Remus ignored Severus ignoring him.

'Shouldn't you be sitting with your — what do you call yourselves again? — Marauders!'

'I don't spend time with them anymore. I've been hanging out with Lily and co. It's a drag; they talk about _girl stuff_ — a lot!' Remus pulled out his own book. 'That's why I know about the '_Earn me!_' business. Just so you know, you've got the wrong idea.'

'Lupin, do me a favour and quit the charade. I'm not falling for it. Leave!' Severus spat.

'Funny,' Remus began, 'you never thought about how that incident at the willow affected me, did you? My own friends shared my secret, they set me up to potentially kill someone, or worse! 'Cause believe me, _Lycanthrophy_ is worse!'

'Dumbledore would expel me if I said anything. Your hairy little secret is safe!'

'That's not what it's about. I get you don't trust me, but I'm trying to make amends, and if you want to win Lily back, I can help.' Remus started to collect his things.

'It's impossible.'

'She never told James to '_earn her'_, probably because he can't. If she said it to you, it's possible.'

Remus started walking away when Severus sighed. 'You need a Potions partner, too?'

* * *

As the days passed, Remus and Severus spent more time together, and he tried to help Severus understand what Lily meant. Severus was right; nothing that he'd tried thus far would ever be enough. Lily missed the Severus that she used to know. Remus tried to encourage him to show her that that person was still there — that he didn't believe the things that she thought he did.

'What I don't get,' Remus asked one day, 'is why you spend time with them. Why do you agree with the stuff they say? If you love Lily, you can't be prejudiced, right?'

'I _hate_ Muggles,' Severus said without hesitation. 'Every Muggle I've ever known has been hateful towards me. So why shouldn't I hate them?'

'Severus, your dad is a Muggle.'

'Every single Muggle I've ever met, Remus.' Severus said no more, but the expression on his face spoke volumes.

'They aren't all like that. My mum's a Muggle and she's the sweetest person you could ever meet. She loves magic!'

'Good for you,' Severus huffed.

'Fine, cross that bridge when you come to it. You have to show Lily that you're not ready to stand by You-Know-Who. It's the only thing that's enough.'

'I told her! I can't help it if she doesn't believe or trust me anymore.'

'I said _show,_ not tell! Actions speak louder — and more truthfully — than words.'

* * *

Severus hadn't distanced himself from his friends. He felt weak and vulnerable at Hogwarts, and Avery and Mulciber made him feel powerful. It was a hard habit to quit, and the pressure to choose was intense. He knew that while one choice may not get him Lily, the other would ensure that he would lose her forever. He just didn't know if the sacrifice would be enough.

'Look who it is. McDonald!' Avery called.

The girl with strawberry blonde hair turned around. Her face paled when she saw who had shouted. Muggleborns knew exactly who to be wary of. She tried to hurry away, but Avery had already cut her off.

'Why you running off so quick; there's plenty of time till next lesson, right?' Avery said with a smile.

'I don't want any trouble, just let me go,' she said.

'I don't think I want to, do you, Severus?'

There he was, put on the spot. He had to show or tell, there was no more time.

'Leave her alone,' he mumbled, unsure of what he was saying.

'What? You want to protect a filthy little Mudblood now?' Mulciber asked, pushing Severus.

Severus moved in front of Mary in a feeble attempt to protect her. 'She's not a Mudblood, she's a witch.'

'What's gotten into you, Snape?' Avery asked, leaving Mary free to run away.

'I might have an axe to grind against Muggles, but Mary is a witch and she doesn't deserve whatever curse you're going to throw her way!'

'You're a Mudblood lover now? I bet it's 'cause he likes that Evans chick.' He shoved Snape, who stumbled backwards into Avery.

Avery grabbed Snape from behind. 'Let's show him how we punish disloyalty.'

Mulciber swiftly punched Severus in the gut. 'Ready to call her a Mudblood, yet?' He sneered.

Severus shook his head, and when Muliber's fist connected with his nose, he heard a crack.

'_It'll never be enough,'_ he thought, '_but Lily is worth the chance.'_

'I'm used to taking punches from my dad,' Severus sniggered, finally accepting his choice. 'If you want to hurt me, you're gonna have to put more weight behind it.'

Which is exactly what Mulciber did as the next one landed in his gut. Severus didn't flinch; it was something he was used to. He just hoped it would be enough to prove to Lily exactly who he was.

Mary came running back, and with her, she brought Professor McGonagall, followed closely by Remus and Lily.

'What on Earth is going on here! Fighting is unacceptable; the three of you will lose thirty points each!' she scolded. 'I've never been so ashamed!'

'Professor,' Mary said, interrupting, 'Severus wasn't fighting; he was stopping them from cursing me. He did nothing wrong!'

Lily glanced at Severus in shock. She looked at him — slumped over, blood oozing from his nose and mouth — with sad eyes.

'Is that so, Mr Snape? Very well, Mr Mulciber, Mr Avery, straight to Professor Slughorn's office until your next class! Mr Lupin, you should help Mr Snape to the Hospital Wing.'

McGonagall escorted the two Slytherins to their Head of House, leaving Severus alone with Mary, Remus, and Lily.

'Severus! That was foolish; why did you antagonise them like that?'

Her expression made Severus quite happy. She looked hysterically worried, and as soon as she finished berating him, she hugged him.

'I know it's not enough, but I hope it shows you that I'm not what you think I am.'

'Of course, it's enough. You're always enough; before you were gone, and in your place was someone I didn't recognise.'

'I was always the same… I'm just a coward; they made me feel like I wasn't.'

'You're not a coward,' Lily declared. 'You're my best friend!'

Severus looked at Remus. 'Remus is my best friend, you're something entirely different.'

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading, please comment and kudos
> 
> For those that are reading 'The Grudge' is there any part of Harry's childhood, or the lives of the Snapes that you would like to see in this universe? I do enjoy writing one-shots that fit into my multi-chapter works. Sometimes my muse needs something other than the chain of events that I am required to write for any given story.
> 
> There is a poll on my FF.net profile page regarding another multi-chapter fiction for this 'Grudge' Universe: https://www.fanfiction.net/u/8684048/


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